For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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