Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
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the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
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Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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