Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Randomize
