I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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