Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
