the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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