I love black thongs
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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