Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
