was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
