i jhust puked up my retainher.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
