I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
