Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize