My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
