she woke up with a sticky ear
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I believe in your delicious
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
