when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
