You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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