Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
