So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
