Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
