I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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