he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
