Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
