Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
