before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
