there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
