Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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