the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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