Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
