dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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