The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
