I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
