Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
