going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
