theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
