im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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