Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I am one with the molecules
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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