I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
