this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
