I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
