Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
