why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
