I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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