Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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