If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
