Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
