Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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