i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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