Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
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So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
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He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.