Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus http://tfl.nu/l3dr

Replies (17) Good night (2860) Bad night (673)
Favorite
(319): View more from Iowa

Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(319): Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's? http://tfl.nu/rb01

Replies (18) Good night (880) Bad night (5086)
Favorite
(303): View more from Colorado

You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(303): You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat. (1-303): ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent. http://tfl.nu/2smi

Replies (17) Good night (12552) Bad night (1591)
Favorite
(727): View more from Florida

His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(727): His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there. http://tfl.nu/9vdb

Replies (6) Good night (1221) Bad night (2195)
Favorite
(502): View more from Kentucky

I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(502): I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean. http://tfl.nu/5uk0

Replies (6) Good night (4221) Bad night (1253)
Favorite
(716): View more from New York

He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(716): He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly. http://tfl.nu/0f1o

Replies (5) Good night (823) Bad night (1447)
Favorite
(706): View more from Georgia

I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(706): I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat. http://tfl.nu/8z1a

Replies (30) Good night (611) Bad night (5962)
Favorite
(210): View more from Texas

It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(210): It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright. http://tfl.nu/p54t

Replies (4) Good night (1887) Bad night (720)
Favorite
(985): View more from Louisiana

You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.

(896): View more from

That actually is really sweet of you

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(985): You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia. (896): That actually is really sweet of you http://tfl.nu/0opp

Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (558)
Favorite
(503): View more from Oregon

Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(503): Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right? http://tfl.nu/3qlx

Replies (13) Good night (1196) Bad night (381)
Favorite
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(+44): THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!! http://tfl.nu/qwat

Replies (10) Good night (981) Bad night (303)
Favorite
(540): View more from Virginia

I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(540): I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher. http://tfl.nu/sltj

Replies (3) Good night (721) Bad night (330)
Favorite
(703): View more from Virginia

Are you alive?

(1-703): View more from Virginia

I woke up under the pier.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(703): Are you alive? (1-703): I woke up under the pier. http://tfl.nu/dfp7

Replies (4) Good night (749) Bad night (246)
Favorite
(925): View more from California

You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(925): You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here! http://tfl.nu/pvgq

Replies (4) Good night (685) Bad night (268)
Favorite
(603): View more from New Hampshire

They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise

(802): View more from Vermont

Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(603): They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise (802): Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence. http://tfl.nu/7axp

Replies (3) Good night (499) Bad night (187)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Find Us On: