Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
