Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead