Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?

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(+44): She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea? http://tfl.nu/vmb3

Replies (19) Good night (5460) Bad night (1834)
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(607): View more from New York

Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.

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(607): Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey. http://tfl.nu/4gnd

Replies (13) Good night (4467) Bad night (1099)
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(416): View more from Toronto

he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.

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(416): he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/nho3

Replies (12) Good night (7004) Bad night (1108)
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(912): View more from Georgia

well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.

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(912): well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing. http://tfl.nu/4jog

Replies (9) Good night (3215) Bad night (854)
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(248): View more from Michigan

sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.

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(248): sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us. http://tfl.nu/2qw1

Replies (11) Good night (4945) Bad night (1018)
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(251): View more from Alabama

2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary

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(251): 2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary http://tfl.nu/6uuf

Replies (8) Good night (1016) Bad night (1667)
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(281): View more from Texas

WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!

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(281): WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?! http://tfl.nu/4ghk

Replies (20) Good night (3038) Bad night (4853)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

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(773): I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming. http://tfl.nu/u6dn

Replies (7) Good night (4201) Bad night (1066)
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(254): View more from Texas

Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be

(254): View more from Texas

Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54

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(254): Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be (254): Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54 http://tfl.nu/ylh4

Replies (5) Good night (1768) Bad night (601)
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(765): View more from Indiana

soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.

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(765): soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it. http://tfl.nu/zcm9

Replies (3) Good night (1064) Bad night (422)
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(708): View more from Illinois

I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet

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(708): I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet http://tfl.nu/9ro9

Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (343)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!

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(614): Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together! http://tfl.nu/qkst

Replies (6) Good night (579) Bad night (991)
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(613): View more from Ontario

All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.

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(613): All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real. http://tfl.nu/5379

Replies (10) Good night (2443) Bad night (485)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

It was so small.

(1-603): View more from New Hampshire

Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.

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(603): It was so small. (1-603): Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way. http://tfl.nu/witd

Replies (5) Good night (296) Bad night (419)
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(269): View more from Michigan

I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.

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(269): I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you. http://tfl.nu/fc9a

Replies (3) Good night (472) Bad night (167)

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