I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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