Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it

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  (631): Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it http://tfl.nu/0u81
  Replies (1) Good night (1091) Bad night (527)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...

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  (307): try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip... http://tfl.nu/dmfu
  Replies (25) Good night (5134) Bad night (999)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz

  (1-614): View more from Ohio

  Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.

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  (614): This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz (1-614): Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual. http://tfl.nu/85jo
  Replies (16) Good night (1607) Bad night (533)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?

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  (432): I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!? http://tfl.nu/8eh6
  Replies (21) Good night (716) Bad night (5020)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.

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  (902): It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies. http://tfl.nu/tvv6
  Replies (79) Good night (6911) Bad night (1135)
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  (845): View more from New York

  our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.

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  (845): our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever. http://tfl.nu/jcyn
  Replies (31) Good night (7579) Bad night (717)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.

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  (570): I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever. http://tfl.nu/cjv6
  Replies (11) Good night (3205) Bad night (1091)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover

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  (314): rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover http://tfl.nu/mxp0
  Replies (15) Good night (5154) Bad night (1091)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.

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  (601): He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle. http://tfl.nu/m2od
  Replies (11) Good night (2327) Bad night (632)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.

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  (423): I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit. http://tfl.nu/5kq2
  Replies (11) Good night (1421) Bad night (530)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.

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  (908): And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on. http://tfl.nu/q88b
  Replies (1) Good night (770) Bad night (576)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?

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  (515): Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this? http://tfl.nu/vht4
  Replies (6) Good night (776) Bad night (495)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.

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  (905): I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th. (1-905): Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms. http://tfl.nu/74vi
  Replies (5) Good night (470) Bad night (371)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?

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  (703): Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask? http://tfl.nu/w6jy
  Replies (4) Good night (345) Bad night (214)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".

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  (+61): You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering". http://tfl.nu/uajx
  Replies (1) Good night (385) Bad night (176)

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