It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
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I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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