Texts From Last Night

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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.

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  (506): i think i would be more confident if i were chinese. http://tfl.nu/cr8w
  Replies (6) Good night (2683) Bad night (1781)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.

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  (978): i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night. http://tfl.nu/0hsp
  Replies (15) Good night (4317) Bad night (667)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.

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  (407): i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume. http://tfl.nu/l5xu
  Replies (31) Good night (10604) Bad night (1725)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.

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  (703): Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon. http://tfl.nu/bjrm
  Replies (12) Good night (5193) Bad night (1164)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

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  (703): swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back." (202): buy whatever she's on. a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/b6gr
  Replies (34) Good night (16001) Bad night (1201)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.

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  (910): easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do. http://tfl.nu/l4k4
  Replies (20) Good night (5335) Bad night (2097)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.

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  (608): The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer. http://tfl.nu/u1k3
  Replies (17) Good night (9750) Bad night (1397)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.

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  (817): I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno. http://tfl.nu/gzp0
  Replies (4) Good night (1997) Bad night (1322)
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  (348): View more from

  Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...

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  (348): Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment... http://tfl.nu/ldjn
  Replies (5) Good night (2872) Bad night (1016)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.

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  (361): I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina. http://tfl.nu/9b7c
  Replies (17) Good night (3419) Bad night (1919)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.

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  (410): We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES. http://tfl.nu/638m
  Replies (15) Good night (2869) Bad night (1142)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.

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  (816): If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide. http://tfl.nu/28e3
  Replies (8) Good night (527) Bad night (904)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had

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  (937): whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had http://tfl.nu/mht2
  Replies (1) Good night (605) Bad night (365)
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  (562): View more from California

  So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch

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  (562): So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch http://tfl.nu/gm5w
  Replies (8) Good night (816) Bad night (322)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit

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  (314): I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit http://tfl.nu/6cum
  Replies (1) Good night (498) Bad night (173)

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