My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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