i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
