Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize