I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I stole a fireplace last night.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Terrible idea I love it
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
