I didn't shave. On purpose
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize