After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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