I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
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