yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
