Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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