um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
