Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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