let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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