This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize