Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
