New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
