So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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