Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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