discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
